The Right Kind of Wrong
by csi-kris
Summary: When the choices in her life hurt her the most...just who does she always run to?  Catherine seems to always choose the wrong men to trust, and it's just about time for her to chose the right kind of wrong.  Catnip of course!  PLEASE REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**Catherine's POV**

I'm standing in front of his apartment in my multi-strapped white tank top and tight black fitting pants, and I feel more lost than I have ever felt in a long time. Why am I here? It seems when my life feels like it has been plowed over by an industrial sized lawn mower I come here. It's not fair to him, and I know it but I can not for the life of me break my habit.

My hands are shaking along with the rest of my body with detrimental hurt, and I am ashamed that I didn't see this coming. I am hurting beyond my control, and there is no one to blame but myself. Never in my life have I chosen the right person to be with, and it is evident just from one failed marriage followed along with a stream of broken promises or one night stands. I go to knock on his door, and my lack of self confidence or self worth gets the best of me as I slowly turn from the door. Truth is I don't deserve his support because I know my choices in life are something that he does not agree with. We have always shared honesty, and at this moment I can not handle being mocked with an 'I told you so.'

But, I'm too late because I must have been spotted because I hear my name as it falls from his lips with concern. "Catherine?" My full name does not go unnoticed, which only tells me that I must look worse off than I appear. Of course I cried the whole way here, and now that I think about that I wish I took the time to sort of straighten up before I ended up on his door step.

I'm grounded in place, and I can not seem to move or open my mouth that is usually what gets me in so much trouble. The weakness is slowly invading my body, and my legs feel like warm rubber that wants nothing more than to buckle in the dry heat. I mumble something of unintelligence as I try to walk away and head back to my vehicle to get myself out of this predicament that I willingly put myself in. Before I know it, I see the concrete rushing up to my eyes and I curse slightly as I feel the harsh cool, solid pebbly material as it makes contact with my face.

"Are you drunk?" Nick asks as he slowly but carefully pulls me up before he takes me inside.

"No," I barely manage as my chin immediately starts to quiver. I run a shaky hand through my hair as my emotions build in the pit of my stomach. It does not take long before I come unhinged and my ability to control my emotions is gone. I'm slowly suffocating.

"God Cath…what is wrong?"

I shake my head as the tears fall freely from my eyes, and I squeeze my eyes as tight as possible in hopes to make everything stop. If only I could go back a few months because now my heart is breaking into a world of desolation and I swear this hurts worse than Eddie.

"Ch-ris," I blurt through my sobs as the sudden need to be sick is filled within me. I cover my mouth, and see Nick's eyes widen and he knows he better help me to the bathroom quickly. He opens his bathroom door, and I hastily push from him as I heave the little contents that I have in my stomach in his oval pearly white toilet. He is behind me holding my hair back, and rubbing my back in a soothing big circle.

But the only thing circling through my mind were the harsh words Chris directed at me when I walked in on him screwing someone else. The strength leaves my body as I fall closer to the toilet and rest my head on it as I continue to cry more.

"_What? What did you honestly expect? You knew what I did for a living!" _

I could not help but remember how unkind and uncaring his voice was as he slowly fastened his pants back in place, which only shattered my pride and heart completely. I knew then what I had been the whole time to him. Just another nock on his many holed belt. He had used me just like all the others, and I honestly thought it was something so much more. What a complete fool I had been. Nick brought me out of my dazed state as he gently lifted me up yet again, and placed me on his couch.

"What did he do to you?" Came Nick's tender yet demanding question. He held my hand lightly as he stroked my palm.

"Nothing."

"I don't believe that Cat. I haven't seen you this upset since…well since Eddie passed. What happened? Are you guys taking a break?"

I shake my head no as my chin starts to quiver again. "We're…through, and I never want to see him again," I cry as I cover my face with my hands. I am disgusted with myself because now I sound like a dejected teenager trying to get over their first boyfriend. This must only be amusing for Nick to watch.

Nick sits back quietly as he gently rubs my shoulder giving me the time I need to calm down, and I slowly yet eventually lay my head on his chest. Tiredness is taking over my body, and my eyes are jadedly blinking. "I caught him cheating on me tonight," I barely whisper as my eyes fall shut, and I take in Nick's strength that is radiating around me.

I feel him as he takes in a deep breath of air, and he pulls me into a tighter embrace as he continues to softly caress the length of my arm. My skin is tingling with sleep as he slowly lifts me from his couch, and carries my tired form to his bedroom. He gently removes my shoes before he covers my body with his comforter, and the last thing I can think about before sleep fully invades me is that he always takes care of me.


	2. Chapter 2

**_Well...I hope I get more reviews this time around! I realize this is a short chapter, and I fully plan on making them longer. Anyhow...if you like please review...the next chapter is in the works...and I'd love to know what you think so far...not that it will guide me, but at least I know if I'm doing things right! Thanks guys!!! Enjoy..._**

**Nick's POV**

I can not help but stare at her as she sleeps contently in my bed devoid of the emotional pain she was in only moments ago. I kiss her lightly on the forehead before I wrap her world in darkness with one flick of a switch. Anger does not even begin to describe what I am feeling towards Chris, and it would be in my best interest to not enter his club. Even though Catherine is older than me, I can not help but be incredibly protective over her.

Heading out to my living room, I take a seat in my recliner with the intention of watching the football highlights on ESPN. That of course does not happen. I knew from the beginning what kind of jerk he was going to be, but she refused to believe me. Shaking my head, I unwittingly go back to one of our many conversations that always ended up with a slamming door or some other uncontrolled anger on her part.

"_He canceled his plans with you? Why?" I ask as I roll my eyes. I can not believe this guy has her so fooled._

"_Nick...not now. Damn why do you think he is so untrustworthy?"_ I can only notice that h_er voice displays an obvious mixture of frustration and slight hurt from my disapproval. _

"_Because I know his type."_

"_What's that supposed to mean?" Her question is clipped, and I know she is on the verge of becoming borderline angry._

"_He's no good Catherine. He's just going to use you."_

"_You don't even know him!" _

"_His type never changes."_

"_Right...Well, you have Chris figured all wrong." _

"_Are you sleeping with him?"_

"_What?" Her flushed angry face is now stunned but we both know she heard me correctly._

"_It won't be long before he gets bored and moves on after he's had his taste."_

_Her body turns rigid with fury as she slams her locker door shut. "Fuck you…," she whispered to my face before she stomped from the room._

I would give anything at this moment to have been wrong because I never realized just how much of herself she had truly invested in this relationship with him. But from her apparent impairment, it was much more than what he ever deserved. What most do not know about Catherine is that she is a truly giving person when she is ready, and she holds nothing back. She gives her all, and it is amazing to watch yet unsettling to witness when it's used against her.

Sighing I stand up and walk back into my room to check up on her. She is now lying on her stomach, and the blanket has managed to get tangled around her delicate waist. Taking in the sight of her, the clarity of just how fragile, frail, and vulnerable she is hits me solidly in the heart and I want nothing else but to take her pain away. Easing myself slowly into my bed, I lay on my side willing myself to sleep but it fails me.

I would be lying if I did not admit that part of my problem regarding Chris was jealousy. He was able to get a part of Catherine that I greatly wanted, and I am not referring to the physical aspect of their relationship. That of course is something that I find myself thinking about constantly, but I want the all of her that she so trustingly gives. Or maybe I am just selfish, and do not like the idea of her finding someone when I am alone. She and I are very close, and I suppose I'm not good at sharing that. She suddenly brings me from my thoughts when she stirs from sleep, and turns to face me.

"Hey," she whispers as her blue eyes flutter open. I find myself smiling at seeing her waking up next to me. At her worst, she remains beautiful and I can not believe that ass actually screwed around on her.

"Hi…you need anything? Are you hungry?"

"No…I oh God I just invaded your place," she starts as she sits up suddenly. "I'm sorry."

"Hey…," I whisper as I sit up next to her and place my hands lightly around her face. "It's okay. Don't worry about that."

She smiles shyly as she grabs one of my hands and holds it between her own. "I should have dated you…then perhaps I wouldn't find myself getting hurt…like this."

"That's what they all say! How are you holding up?" I ask as I smile at her in return.

"I've been better."

"You want to talk about it?"

She meets my eyes, and her resolve is suddenly gone. She is crying again, but it is obvious she is ashamed of it as she covers her face with her hands. She rarely cries in front of people to begin with so I know just how deep her pain is running. Or at least I think I do. "Just stay here tonight. Lindsey is still with Lily so there is no reason for you to go home," I say as I pull her into a tight embrace.

"I don't have anything to sleep in."

"Oh well take your pick…you can sleep nude or wear some of my clothes? Either way is fine with me."

She suddenly snorts as she shoves me off my own bed. But, she is smiling and that is all that matters to me. "I guess you want clothes then," I continue to joke as I grab a pair of boxers and a t-shirt from my cluttered drawer. Grabbing them from my hand, she shuts herself off in my bathroom to change.

I barely have a chance to change myself as the bathroom door opens. I can not help but smile as my clothes are barely hanging onto her slim form, and I quickly look away as the thought of that looking sexy enters my mind.

"I borrowed your toothbrush," she gallantly tells me.

"You used…my toothbrush?" I ask incredulously.

"What was I supposed to do? I had this nasty taste in my mouth from being sick earlier."

I look at her in shock as I aimlessly walk to my bathroom to see if perhaps I have an extra toothbrush now. I hear her laughing out loud, and I do not find this the least bit funny. I'm a bit anal when it comes to dental hygenine and I know she knows this. I grab my toothbrush that she said she used, and it is completely dry.

"You did not use this!" I find myself hollering as I take a glance at her in my room.

"I know…," she chuckles at me. "Though, I did use your mouth wash!"

Smiling at her, I quickly duck back into my bathroom to brush my teeth. She was clearly getting me back for my sleeping naked joke. She is casually flipping through one of my magazines when I come back into my room, so I find myself sitting behind her on my bed as I massage her head. "We should get some sleep. Work is going to come before we know it."

Pulling the covers back yet again, she climbs in and I follow her. We both whisper our goodnights, and I can not help but think just how right this feels as sleep takes over my mind.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

**Catherine's POV**

Waking up with an arm wrapped snuggly around my waist, I find myself sitting up in panic but then notice my clothes are still all intact. I look back and see Nick sleeping peacefully as he turns over on his back, and that is when my memory floods my mind.

A mixture of emotions are flowing through my body as I get up and walk heedlessly to his bathroom for a quick shower. I am not used to this feeling of waking up with someone and not being used in the process. I am not too sure what to think or how to react with this knowledge as I soap up quickly and then rinse off. Bewildered perhaps, that Nick had every opportunity to make a move on me but instead remained the true friend that he is and tried nothing. The other part of me that is used to being used is rather confused and does not know if I should somehow be offended. Baffled at my own thoughts, I quickly put my clothes from last night back on before I comb my hair with his brush.

I can not for the life of me bring myself out of his bathroom because I'm not used to this part of the equation. The loving and leaving is what I know, and a big part of me is afraid to open that door and face him. He literally saw me at my worst--at my wits end, and I would be lying if I said I was really okay with that. Vulnerability has never been my strong suit, it's a weakness of mine and I do not handle it very well. In short, it puts me at odds with myself.

Tempting fate; I slowly open the door and I see that he is still lying on his bed, but he is very awake. "Everything okay?"

He is talking to me, and my mouth is stunned shut. I do not feel like myself, and why I feel awkward I am not sure. Smiling at him, I quickly turn to look for my purse but it is no where to found. Possibly I left it in my car over night because I sure as heck was not thinking clearing earlier. While I continue to search, I can not help but want some adequate distance between us. "Cath?" He's now right behind me, and I turn rigid with the sound of my name that is whispered so close behind me.

"I'm okay. Just…," I stop suddenly when I can no longer finish my sentence. My whole body is tight and firm with stress as I draw in a shaky breath.

"Just what?"

"I'm not good with this. The aftermath of waking up with someone."

He laughs out loud as he draws in a short whistle. "Relax…there is nothing to be good at here. There is nothing to get bent about…we didn't sleep together."

Opening my mouth to speak, I'm stalled with profound embarrassment. I am such an idiot, and I realize that he is right. I am acting like something more happened between us than just a friend consoling a friend. "Right…we didn't sleep together. Which is rare for me." My eyes turn wide as my cheeks radiate heat at my sudden admission. That totally came out wrong, and I can not help but chuckle at my peculiar way of talking about myself. "That came out so wrong."

"It's okay I know what you meant, and I don't think badly of you. I just think you have bad taste choosing the men you become intimate with."

"Well, I think I'm swearing off men for a while."

"Really…, that could be rather interesting! Perhaps it could be every man's dream come true?" He winks at me as a sly smirk forms on his face, and it takes me a moment to grasp what he is referring to. He catches me by surprise as my eyes widen in bemusement.

"You mean me with another woman?" I suddenly laugh out loud at his silly conclusion. "Please Nicky…one woman in a relationship is enough…add another and it's a huge mess. Besides I didn't say I've given up on men, I'm just taking a break."

"Good to know because I know some guy is going to be lucky to have you."

"Don't…let's not talk about me. I don't want to cry anymore."

"Fair enough, you want pancakes?"

"No…I swear this is like some sort of sick fairytale."

"What is?"

"You…this…taking care of me, and now offering to cook me breakfast," I rattle off quickly. "It just sucks because it's a rarity and I'm pissed off that Chris did not treat me this way."

"You were in love with him?" He asks me softly. He is staring at me, and I feel as though I have never been so exposed. Can he see my emotional scars? Can he see the broken me that feels so battered and alone. I feel my front slipping like it did last night, and I don't want to feel that blank emptiness or utter aloneness that I felt even when he was comforting me.

Looking away, I take a deep breath to try and steady my breathing. The air seems to have issues reaching my lungs completely, and I feel as though I'm slowly drowning. Nothing feels right, and even in my normal surroundings I feel as if I don't belong. "Yes, I loved him more than I thought possible. I still do..," I stop momentarily as my chin starts to quiver as I blink back tears. But I am no longer in control as the tears unwittingly spill down my redden cheeks. "I never said anything before- partly because I was afraid…afraid that it was too good to be true…," I can't continue as the sobs angrily rack through my chest making it impossible for me to speak.

I instantly wave Nick off as he moves to comfort me because human contact is the last thing I can handle at this moment. I find myself backing up just to make my point that much more. I hate myself for feeling so vulnerable, and for opening myself up to the unforeseeable risk of getting hurt all over again. Why do men feel the urge to cheat on me? Am I just cheatable material? My pride is sinking into a whirlpool of shame, and I feel as though I have done something to cause this. Maybe I made him mad one too many times or perhaps I am not woman enough and have failed to satisfy him sexually. What have I just reduced myself to? I am now thinking like a battered wife who is justifying her husband's action of using his harsh hand against her.

Slowly, I can feel my resolve returning and the numbness I so desire is pumping through out me. My breathing has returned almost back to normal, but my face is still laced with wet tears. "We were engaged," I finally admit as my left hand glides into my hair that is still damp from the shower.

I notice as Nick's eyes follow my hand or shall I say my engagement ring, and his eyes widened with unknowing shock. "God…, Cath I didn't realize this. I'm so sorry."

I can not help but shake my head in solemn agreement. "Me too."

"You know I'm here if you need anything."

"I know," I stop as I smile gently at him. "And…I will need you."

The gap that was between us now does not exist, and before I know it he is hugging me so tight that I am having a hard time breathing. "He's not worthy of you," he whispers into my ear. I find myself grabbing onto Nick wishing for his strength to enter my body, wishing for my hurt to dissipate.

I regretfully let go as I look at my watch, and notice that work is only a few hours away and I have many errands to run. "Crap, I better get going."

"Are you sure?"

"I have to pick up some art supplies for Lindsey. Drop off my dry cleaning, and pick up a few things from the grocery store."

"Are you okay to drive?"

I place my hand soothingly on his cheek as I smile warmly at him. "I'm okay. Thanks to you." We walk quietly to his door, and he seems a bit reluctant to let me go as if he is unsure if I am really okay to drive. I lay a small yet gentle kiss on his cheek, and then pull away from him. "Thanks for everything Nicky," I murmur before opening his door and leaving.


End file.
